It’s no secret that we all have days that we feel on top of the world – capable, productive, in tune with ourselves and those closest to us, and generally content with what’s happening in our lives.
And days like these are pretty marvellous! It’s days like these most of us would like to have more of – many more, right?
But it’s also a known fact that we all experience days that are not as well enjoyed…days which may bring challenges that we don’t quite feel up to meeting head on, and days that we simply take one tentative step after the other just to make our way through them in one piece.
There are all sorts of reasons for each of these types of days – the good and the not-so-good days – but it might be heartening to realise that there are a number of things we can implement for ourselves which can really improve our way of coping with life’s hiccups….as well as with the really difficult and messy times which can sometimes feel never-ending.
I imagine you have experienced these ‘not-so-nice’ times, just as I have. Maybe it’s been the odd day that nothing seems to go well for you, no matter how you try. Perhaps it’s days when you just feel under-the weather and overly emotional and you can’t seem to shake that feeling of sadness. Or maybe you feel overwhelmed by the long list of tasks you have to complete by a certain deadline and you just can’t see how you will possibly get through them in time….or maybe you have experienced the awful emptiness and terrible sadness that losing a loved one can bring.
There are so many different versions of negative experiences which can impact us, and no doubt we have all lived through many of them. There is also no doubt that we will each live through many more – there is certainly no way of guaranteeing that all of our experiences will be enjoyable and rewarding or that all of our days will be full of sunshine and rainbows and roses.
So, knowing this, wouldn’t you think that it would be worth our while to hone a few skills (sharpen a few useful tools!) to assist us in coping with these inevitable times of challenge in our life?
There are likely as many different strategies and practices for supporting us through trying times as there are different people in the world, but I would like to share with you just a few things that I like to draw out of my toolkit when I need some bolstering and some propping up.
They are my “old faithfuls” – the tried and tested and proven methods of soothing my nervous system, calming my mind and balancing my perspective. And, although they are very simple practices and are super-easy to implement, their effect on my wellbeing is powerful and immediate – especially now that I have honed the tools and they are at the ready, in my kit for whenever I need them.
Try them out for yourself – I would love to hear how they work for you! Or perhaps you have developed various other strategies for supporting yourself throughout tough days…again, I’d love to hear about them.
It is the sharing of these kinds of practices that helps to empower each of us to better understand ourselves and how we respond to our surroundings and our circumstances. Information is the beginning – shared experiences, tips and recommendations…they all help to spread the ripples of good in ever-widening arcs!
1. My number one, never-fail, go-to practice for soothing, calming, balancing and generally bringing my view of the world back into perspective:
SLOWING AND DEEPENING THE BREATH….THROUGH THE NOSE ONLY.
Yep, you’ve got it – simply breathing more slowly and more deeply and only breathing
through the nose.
Easy. Right?
Well, it is easy, once you are accustomed to it, but believe it or not, many of us are actually not so great at this. For starters, many people tend not to breathe through the nose very much at all, and are instead chronic mouth-breathers. So it might take a little bit of conscious practice to become accustomed to only breathing through the nose, but the benefits of doing so are many and varied.
Among them, is the (enormous!) benefit of the effect nose breathing has on the body’s Autonomic Nervous System response…especially when the breath is slow and deep.
The little hairs inside our nostrils pick up the movement of our breath and send particular messages to our autonomic nervous, depending upon the way in which we are breathing.
If we are breathing fast and shallow, (which, let’s be honest, most of us do for at least a portion of every day!) the message that will be sent is that we are in a heightened state of awareness, possibly fear (whether we actually are afraid or not) and the body will respond by bringing us into a Sympathetic state – better known as Fight or Flight. In Fight or Flight mode, our body automatically limits it’s resources to all processes of the body except for those that will help us to flee or to defend ourselves. This means that important processes such as digestion, cell repair and renewal, immune function, reproductive functions (including hormone production and release), and many others, will be partially or fully put on the back-burner for the period of time we are in Sympathetic mode. Not a healthy way to operate, and certainly not for prolonged periods of time – and especially if there really is no actual threat or attacker to defend against in the first place!
On the other hand, if the breath is long and slow, then the message the body receives is that there is nothing to fear; all is well… and so our autonomic response to this message is to bring us into a Para-sympathetic state (Rest, Digest, Repair). And this, my friends, is the state in which we should be aiming to spend most of our time! The state in which all of the processes of the body are able to function optimally and we are able to achieve better levels of health and wellbeing.
Of course there are times in life when we will be required to be on high alert; to be aware of actual threats around us and to protect ourselves and our families in certain situations – and for these times our Sympathetic response will serve us well. But it is so important to nurture our ability to be flexible and realistic in our autonomic responses, and to ensure that we are able to soothe our system into para-sympathetic when there is no real threat.
In modern life our response to the general, everyday stressors we all deal with will determine which autonomic mode we are in, hence the importance of building up and maintaining our toolkit for managing how we respond to these stressors.
And that is why the breath is such an easy choice - we carry our breath with us everywhere – it is not something we have to locate or remember to pack or bring with us as we leave the house. It is with us always.
And it is one of - if not THE – most effective mechanisms we have to create positive change in our state of mind and state of health and wellbeing, by it’s direct effect on our autonomic nervous system.
So, whenever you can (which is pretty much whenever you think of it, as this is the easiest thing to do!) just start to observe your breathing pattern. If you are breathing through your mouth, change this, and begin to breathe through the nose. Take notice of the length of your inhales and exhales. Notice the count. Without haste or force, begin to lengthen each side of the breath, little by little. Do this slowly and gently, taking time between each small increase in length to take a few breaths and feel how the new length is for you. Only take the length of each side of the breath to a count which feels comfortable for you to maintain – we are not wanting to create any sensation of stress or force within the mind or the body. As you are lengthening, be sure to bring both sides of the breath to equal count, keeping the breath even and balanced.
There you have it.
Slowed, balanced, lengthened breath through the nose.
This is a simple technique that you can use anywhere, anytime – multiple times throughout the day, and for long periods. You don’t need to stop what you are doing to practice this technique, and no one needs to know you are doing it. You can also up the anti a little on relaxing the mind and body by lengthening just a little further into the exhales once you have come to a comfortable balanced rate and rhythm, still keeping the inhalations long and slow but drawing the exhale a few counts longer again. It’s a brilliant trick - although not really a trick, as it has been practiced by yogis for thousands of years!!
But the more often you practice this simple technique, the more easily you will be able to slip back into Para-sympathetic mode. And then, when the time comes that you really are feeling anxious or stressed, overwhelmed or sad, tired, frightened or frustrated (or whatever you might be feeling that is making your experience not so peachy!) you will have a well-oiled tool to draw upon to combat that all too easy slide into Sympathetic mode. I know it is one that I use often and will continue to, because it really works….I hope that you will give it a try too.
2. So, another favourite and well-used tool in my kit for combating my Flight or Fight response in times when I am feeling low or anxious or overwhelmed (or any of the other sensations or conditions of the mind we all go through at times)- is to spend some time in a posture which supports and relaxes my body and also reverses my usual forward facing postures and activities. It is interesting to know that our postures also directly influence our Autonomic Nervous System, by causing the body to send messages depending on the posture….forward facing, forward leaning for prolonged periods, and especially forward sloping shoulders and hunched forwards upper back tells our system that we are protecting ourselves from something – we are guarding our vital organs. Whereas, if our shoulders are back and lowered, our spine is lengthened and our chest is open, this indicates to our Autonomic Nervous system that we are relaxed and have nothing to protect ourselves from.
Considering that most of us spend a good deal of each day in forward facing/forward reaching and bending positions - simply to do our daily work – it isn’t hard to see how it would be easy for the body to misinterpret this posture as a constant signal that we have something to protect against – hence the need to try to reverse this signal and show our body that all is well.
One of the easiest ways for me to do this is to use a bolster underneath me, along the length of my spine, as I lie on the floor. I then bring my arms to cactus position, forearms and elbows resting on
the floor either side of me. The chest is lifted and opened, completely reversing the forward bending position and allowing space for the breath and a stretch across the chest and shoulders and upper back.
If you don’t own a yoga bolster, a couple of rolled towels or a sturdy blanket rolled into a log the length of the spine from the crown of the head to the lower back will work just fine too. Sometimes I like this with my knees bent, coming to rest together, feet on the floor, or sometimes with the soles of the feet together and knees opening out wide. Just ensure that the step from the floor to the top of the bolster isn’t too high for the lower back to feel comfortable - if it is, place a blanket or folded towel underneath the bottom as it comes to rest at the end of the bolster and then lie back along the bolster.
5 or 10 minutes here (or longer if you have it available) is all you need. If you take this time to also lengthen and slow the breath, you are doing double duty with flicking your internal switch from Sympathetic mode to para-sympathetic mode – Hooray!
And if you practice this posture often, once a day or so, you will be further training your system how to relax and soften more quickly – creating a flexible, resilient Autonomic Nervous System response.
3. And, of course, one of my favourite tools for calming and nurturing my system is some gentle yoga asana. Connecting my breath (which I have slowed and lengthened) to slow and mindful movements which open and stretch my body. Nothing demanding, complicated or strenuous. Just simple, measured movements and postures to release tensions and allow some time out as I focus my awareness on the sensations of my body as I move and breathe. It’s like taking a little mini-break from all the things that are on my mind or on my to-do-list. It gives my body and mind – my whole being – some time out from demands and worries and tasks and allows me to connect fully with the present moment.
Practicing gentle, nurturing yoga with the addition of some long hold postures to open up and loosen areas of the body that hold tension and stress is one of the best measures of self-care in my toolkit of skills and techniques.
These are just a few of the practices I use regularly to great positive effect in my life. They won’t make all your worries or challenges dissolve or disappear but they will certainly give you more control over the way you respond to all those stressors that will inevitably come along in life.
Surely it’s worth giving it a try?
And if you find you would like some more information or perhaps some guidance in creating a toolkit for yourself – whether it be learning a few breathing or meditation techniques, or having a personalised yoga practice created for you to use in times of uncertainty or challenge, I’d love to hear from you. We all have the ability to learn better coping mechanisms, and strategies for improving our health and wellbeing, in good times and in rough times ….let me know if you’d like to learn more.
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